From proffering chocolate bars to ease those flutters to fixing last minute tuck-ins for that perfect look, a bridesmaid is a bride's most trusted confidante - even if it's only for a day. Qiu Yijiao reports
Like most young women, 26-year old Han Yafei considers a wedding a sacred occasion. But unlike most, she has walked down the aisle to Wagner's Wedding March more than 100 times.
Not as the bride, though, but as the bridesmaid, or in her words the bride's "assistant". At the wedding ceremony, she stands by the bride, making every effort to ensure that things go smoothly for her. And in this, she is assisted by the assortment of needles, threads, safety pins, a small bottle of water and chocolate bars that she carries in her handbag.
Han has lost count of the number of times these little saviors have turned the threat of a lousy day into one of sweet memories for the bride, but recalls clearly the happy face of the bride saying, "you saved my day" on every occasion.
"All I do is to help brides enjoy the most important day of their lives. I feel good to be of help to them on such a blessed day," Han says proudly.
Quite naturally, one of her favorite films is 27 Dresses - about a New York girl who plays the bridesmaid 27 times. "I see myself as that girl. We both like to help others and believe strongly in love and marriage."
But unlike the film character who acts as bridesmaid only for her friends, Han's work requires her to make friends with women she has never met before, and as quickly as possible. Although she jokes that her plain looks help her to win the trust of the brides, it is actually the result of her hard work.
"Every bride wants to be perfect during the wedding. However, the preparations are not always perfect and brides get annoyed easily." As a professional bridesmaid for three years, Han has found that no matter how calm and rational these women are in daily life, they become sensitive and nervous on their big day.
To make things easier for them, she usually looks through the agenda for the day carefully and sends them a list of must-dos several days in advance. During the ceremony, she helps to attend to the guests and solve emergencies like the bride's high heeled shoes giving way suddenly. Sometimes, she also has to be the think-tank, helping the bride overcome a tricky situation.
Han discovered her talent to be a bridesmaid when she was 21 and attending a cousin's wedding. She recalls chatting with her cousin to make her less anxious, reminding her to take frequent sips of water and checking her make-up from time to time. When it was time for the bride to face the crowd of relatives and friends from the bridegroom's side for the first time, Han held her hand tightly.
"My cousin was moved by my little action. She couldn't speak then, but I could read her gratitude in her eyes," says Han.
Soon after, Han found herself the bridesmaid for another two cousins. Han was then alerted to the popular belief that if she played bridesmaid at more than three weddings, she would never get married.
"I got lucky," Han says. "I met my boyfriend before I reached that number and he is open-minded, leaving me free to be a bridesmaid as many times as I wanted."
After graduation, Han decided to work in a wedding planning center, although it had nothing to do with her major in science.
"Being a bridesmaid doesn't require much science knowledge and people said I was overqualified for it. But I feel happy and rewarded."
Han says it is difficult to find a proper and responsible person to be the bridesmaid in big cities. This shortage leaves Han quite busy especially during the peak season. In May and October, she often has to attend two weddings per day, working from 6 am to 2 am the next day.
"I do get exhausted sometimes but I never feel bored. Every time I look at the bride walking down the aisle to the bridegroom, I tell myself I will be the bridesmaid yet again," Han says.
Her job used to bring her 500 yuan ($73) for one wedding in the beginning, but the amount has now gone up to 800 yuan. During the slack season, she takes care of the administrative work at the center. Although her earnings are uneven, Han says she does not have to worry about money as her family in Henan is well-off.
Another reason Han loves her job is that she gets to wear pink, a color that may seem too outlandish for daily wear. She now has three light-pink bridesmaid suits, but will be saying goodbye to them soon.
"After witnessing so many weddings, I will finally have my own. I have pictured it so many times," says Han with a smile. "I hope it will be classic and elegant, full of lilies and violets."
She is planning to invite her best friends to be the bridesmaids, saying she is sure she too will be all nerves on her wedding day and could use some help.
Being married will also mean Han can no longer be a bridesmaid, so she is now learning to be a wedding planner, a task that requires more creativity and organizational skills.
"Weddings do really make my world go around," she says happily.
